I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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