Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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