Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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