what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize