Are we in a gay sports bar?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
