btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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