Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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