i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
