no, he came in my armpit
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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