Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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