i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
