I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
