i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
