i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
