I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
