he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
