i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
