WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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