No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
