you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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