Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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