I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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