well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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