I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
