Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
