I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
