How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
