What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize