Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
