Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
