Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just had sex bonerless
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
