seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
