She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
