we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
