she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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