Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize