Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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