I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
