Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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