Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
