I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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