Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
