You're completely useless in the revolution.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
