My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
