i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
