My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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