We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
