dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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