I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
