i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
our cab driver is having phone sex.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
