dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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