If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So many bounce houses so little time
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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