I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
