btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
