they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
