Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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