I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
