Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This is my gift to your gina
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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