"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
