ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
