community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My vagina is very pro this idea
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
