I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
