i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
