Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize