Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize