At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
