so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize